Plagued


We're into our fourth week of sickness over here. I've never been sick for so long. It goes away and just when I think, "Yeah! Tomorrow I can start exercising again, get this house all clean and tidy, make those phone calls and answer those e-mails..." WHAM! It comes back again. So what am I doing in the interim? Nothing incredibly exciting: planning a Thanksgiving dinner for the family, which over here in DE means scouring stores and the Internet to find brownie mix ($6.50), creamed corn ($3), stuffing ($5), you get the point. And of course, cooking everything in Celsius and grams, rather than Fahrenheit and ounces, yeah, well that's always interesting. Lucky for me they've never tried most of these things before so they're not sure how it should taste =)

Otherwise, working on the new plot which is interesting when I'm in a fevered state. You get some real trippy ideas when you're sick. Now I'm going to drink my peppermint tea and convince myself that tomorrow I'll wake up free of this freakin' plague ravaging my body. Puppy dogs and rainbows my friends.

I Know Where I've Been

but I'm not sure I know where I'm going. I'm trying hard to take a break from all things scrivening, but ideas keep forming and I've finally given in and written them down. All eight. And even though I have these eight varied ideas for incredible books, there's been one I've been ignoring because it's a bit too close and personal. Still it keeps bumping against me like a boat moored to a pier, slowly and softly letting me know it's there.

My days are filled with empty moments usually filled with research and writing, and I find myself pacing like a caged animal. My mind flits from task to task, never really focusing on one thing. It's like a diet of the mind and I'm trying hard not to feed it but I know I need it *insert Gollum phrase here*

How do you stay away from something you love? Is it normal to need writing so much? What are the chances of success? And how bad do I really want all this to work out? How many more sacrifices am I willing to make?

The one thing I know is I love writing and even when I hate it there's a rush, thrill and pleasure once I've finished. Nothing has given me that feeling. And that's what I crave, what I need. It's not an easy path to walk and when a crossroad stands in front of you, it's tempting to take the other route, but the very thought of it fills me with such sadness I know I'll never be able to do it, never give it up.

In the words of Mr. Frost:
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

And that's how I see writing at the moment. There's no guarantee, sometimes it all seems pointless, but when I'm sitting in my rocking chair many years from now, I don't want any regrets, no what if's, no I should have tried once more. And I'll keep following this difficult path with a little bit of hope in my pocket.

A Nice Story

Winter was coming, and the birds had flown far to the south, where the air was warm and they could find berries to eat. One little bird had broken its wing and could not fly with the others. It was alone in the cold world of frost and snow. The forest looked warm, and it made its way to the trees as well as it could, to ask for help.

First it came to a birch tree. “Beautiful birch tree,” it said. “My wing is broken, and my friends have flown away. May I live among your branches till they come back to me?”

“No, indeed,” answered the birch tree, drawing her fair green leaves away. “We of the great forest have our own birds to help. I can do nothing for you.”

‘The birch is not very strong,’ said the little bird to itself, ‘and it might be that she could not hold me easily. I will ask the oak.’ So the bird said, “Great oak tree, you are so strong, will you not let me live on your boughs till my friends come back in the springtime?”

“In the springtime!'' cried the oak. “That is a long way off. How do I know what you might do in all that time? Birds are always looking for something to eat, and you might even eat up some of my acorns.”

“It may be that the willow will be kind to me,” thought the bird, and it said: “Gentle willow, my wing is broken, and I could not fly to the south with the other birds. May I live on your branches till the springtime?”

The willow did not look gentle then, for she drew herself up proudly and said: “Indeed, I do not know you, and we willows never talk to people whom we do not know. Very likely there are trees somewhere that will take in strange birds. Leave me at once.”

The poor little bird did not know what to do. Its wing was not yet strong, but it began to fly away as well as it could. Before it had gone far a voice was heard. “Little bird,'' it said, “where are you going?”

“Indeed, I do not know,” answered the bird sadly. “I am very cold.”

“Come right here, then,'' said the friendly spruce tree, for it was her voice that had called.

“You shall live on my warmest branch all winter if you choose.”

“Will you really let me?” asked the little bird eagerly.

“Indeed, I will,” answered the kind-hearted spruce tree. “If your friends have flown away, it is time for the trees to help you. Here is the branch where my leaves are thickest and softest.”

“My branches are not very thick,” said the friendly pine tree, “but I am big and strong, and I can keep the North Wind from you and the spruce.”

“I can help, too,” said a little juniper tree. “I can give you berries all winter long, and every bird knows that juniper berries are good.”

So the spruce gave the lonely little bird a home; the pine kept the cold North Wind away from it; and the juniper gave it berries to eat. The other trees looked on and talked together wisely.

“I would not have strange birds on my boughs,” said the birch.

“I shall not give my acorns away for any one,” said the oak.

“I never have anything to do with strangers,” said the willow, and the three trees drew their leaves closely about them.

In the morning all those shining, green leaves lay on the ground, for a cold North Wind had come in the night, and every leaf that it touched fell from the tree.

“May I touch every leaf in the forest?” asked the wind in its frolic.

“No,” said the Frost King. “The trees that have been kind to the little bird with the broken wing may keep their leaves.”

This is why the leaves of the spruce, the pine, and the juniper are always green.

Written by Florence Holbrook

To NaNo or Not?

No, I'm not talking about a Mork & Mindy marathon, but the thirty days in November writers spend attempting to start and finish a 50k word novel. Most of us write novels that are longer in length, but 50 k is a nice goal. 50k- let's see what we're talking about here:

~ 1600 words per day
~ 6.5 pages per day

That seems doable, right? And if you miss one day you can double up and some days you might even more. The emphasis is on quantity, not quality, and writing by the seat-of-your-pants, pulling yourself out of the comfort zone and going for it.

I participated last year and realized that even though I write fast, I can't write only to see words on a page and a growing word count. I like to tweak and edit as I go, and I work better in a vacuum. But it was good because I managed 10k toward a new novel.

I think it's great to try NaNo at least once, if only to push yourself in a new direction as a writer. So if you have a few plot ideas why not try going for it this month? And if you do good luck and I want to hear how it goes!

I Thought I Could and I Did

Yes, the WIP is finished and here are the final stats:
Started writing: June 2009
Finished writing: August 2009
Finished revising: October 2009
Number of drafts: Four
Number of words: 93,055
Number of pages: 348

It was a new POV for me (first/present), I wrote it from first chapter to twenty-seventh chapter, all linear and in order and it actually worked. After the first draft I re-wrote an entire chapter, switched out some mythology, plumped up a character and deleted another (sorry, Dolores, but we'll meet again) and did the usual cuts, moves, grammar checks, etc.

And I love it! Let's hope she does too =)

Writing Scared



Maybe it's the time of year or the book I'm revising, but my senses are heightened to all things uncanny, things that don't seem to fit. And I'm wondering why do I get scared and how can I write to scare others?

Just a few of the things that scare me:

Walking near a deserted factory: smelling rusted metal, hearing the squeaks and groans of objects I can't see, looking at a towering structure with broken windows and shadowed doorways.

Driving during a rainstorm at night: knowing that something could jump out in front of me, not able to see anything clearly in my rear view mirror, feeling the tires slide as I accelerate.

The feeling that someone is watching me, and when I look around, no one is there. But I know someone is there: my skin prickles, the adrenaline races and every instinct tells me I'm being watched.

Dreams: dreams of falling endlessly, dreams of running away from someone who always draws closer, dreams of him, them.

What causes fear? Definition: A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc. But in the situations I've listed above, I was never threatened. I knew nothing wouldhappen. It was the fear of the threat, an anxiety that something could happen.

How do I write fear? I have a list of "scary" verbs (grab, struggle, stumble, burst), lots of dark places (forests, alleys, deserted buildings) and situations where there is no good outcome, only a better one. I'm writing to cause fear and I do that by trying to scare my readers; the barometer is if I can scare myself.

And why do I do this? Why don't I write about puppy dogs and rainbows, happy endings where everyone lives? It's not because I'm into allegory or making a statement on the world today, it's because working through the dark stuff, the pain, the loss helps me to find new ways to cope with the world as it is today.

And I write it because I'm dark and twisty and being scared is kinda fun!

First you raise them

and then you let them go, hoping they do well on their own. I'm not talking about children, but characters. Some come fully formed, others swaddled in newborn skin. You spend time together, help them learn, grow and teach them it's not the mistakes one makes, but how one deals with them.

In Ursula Le Guin's book Lavinia, Le Guin allows Lavinia, a minor character from the Aeneid, to have a voice, to question Virgil, listen to the prose of her own story and most importantly, pay respect to her creator. Le Guin uses her authorial ability to provide a platform where a conversation between characters and their authors can occur and give each a chance to explain why we see them as we do and to understand how they see themselves. Lavinia's self-awareness is incredibly fascinating (and I ain't just sayin' that b/c I'm a fangirl.)

But what happens when they turn out different than you imagine? When they scream "No! You're writing me all wrong!" When the keys lock, the pencil goes flying and they refuse to budge? What do you do? Let them out of your grasp or hold so tight until they become what you see them, how you see them?

That's happening with two of my characters right now. One wants to be more independent, although he's bound by certain "laws", and the other wants to have a darker purpose even though I see her as all that's good about this particular mythology. So what do I do? For now I'll give in a bit and revise some scenes geared toward their wants. We'll see if it works. If not, well the, the creator shall have her way.

Let Down

There's this book I've been waiting to read for months and months. The hype was incredible, PR amazing, and other than a few tantalizing tidbits, nothing was leaked about the book's content.

Last week the book came in the mail and even though I have a bazillion things to do, I started reading. After three days I had to force myself to continue, thinking and hoping it'd get better. It didn't.

I finished it yesterday and felt, I guess confused. And questions started rolling around in my head: If you become super-star successful, are those around you still truthful? Do they tell you to cut, revise, edit again? If you as the author become super-star successful, is it more difficult to see where your writing needs to improve? Because I'll tell you, I didn't see any growth, only too many places with extraneous information, and so much repetition I was yelling at the poor book (which means I was yelling at trees and who wants to do that?)

And then I started thinking about it a different way. If you are successful, have the pressure of writing a novel that's not only a blockbuster, but also unearths some world-shattering secret, how do you do it? Do you look for a new subject, something that reeks of controversy? And is all pressure made equal? Do these super-star authors succumb to the pressure of spinning out another hit? What makes an author decide to keep writing in that same vein? Wouldn't it be better to try writing about something completely different so as not to be derivative on one's own work?

I guess because of where I'm sitting, working on my second novel, hoping it will be published and achieve some measure of success, I'm shocked when a successful author, who sells and gets paid millions, makes a misstep. And for me and many others, that's what this novel was.

I hope that he doesn't brush aside the criticism as irrelevant because I think as writers we need to listen to our critics, whether readers or betas, no matter how much their words sting. That's how we get better.

Working Hard, not Hardly Working



It's another one of those times when I'm writing like a fiend, getting the second draft finished. I see the light, even though someone or something keeps trying to switch it off, but I'm determined to be finished by the end of the week.
Try not to miss me too much!

We Have to Hurry!

The house is empty, the pets are sleeping and the phone isn't ringing. It's very-- quiet. You make a mad dash to the computer, open up your latest WIP and what do you do? Stare at the screen because your mind has gone blank. You give yourself a pep talk and your fingers hover over the keyboard. Still nothing. Your eyes dart toward the clock and know precious writing time is passing by. So what's the problem?

Well, writing isn't something that can be turned on and off. There's no magical switch that allows you to ascend to the creative plane. For me those first minutes are like a warm up before exercising. I need to work myself into it, push my "real world" thoughts aside and give my "writing world" thoughts time to enter.

The first thing I do is re-read my last few pages so I remember where I'm going with the plot and what comes next. If that doesn't work I look in my "Additions" file and see what plot elements, descriptions, dialogue can be added and where. If I'm still struggling, I work on research, character interviews, anything that falls under the umbrella of writing.

What works for you?

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